the land surfer
2006-09-01 10:07:15 UTC
droptesting cats(the other white meat)
+++
here kittie kittie kittie
+++
he dropped th big black bastard
digger by name
from th landing
it landed in th couch
hopped down to th floor
and climbed up th stairs to go once more
strange cat
+++
only two cats were harmed in th making
of this psychic underground blog
+++
i had to piss on one
he did say to put it out
i thought it was on fire
"a natural mistake to make"
+++
cmon
we've all drop tested cats
held em upside down and
let em fall to th floor
lets see ya land
right way up and
on yr feet this time
black mungrel
++
ready mr music
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
if ya cant hear it
it's cause this is text dickhead
+++
ah notepad
+++
so after i pulled my dick out of
kylie minogue
just testing
wonderful thing text
+++
"i ran to th pub and told nobody"
+++
and wot did nobody say ?
"he said dont tell anybody"
+++
good thing it's ficticious then
+++
"long as ya dont say she's delicious"
+++
ok paulie
i know she's a blonde
+++
"i'm not sayin blondes taste bad jen just"
"they're so fuckin common"
"ya meet more crook ones"
+++
phil collins
'in the air tonight'
+++
yeah ok windows
it is friday but
we aint goin out to entertain tonight
+++
least as far as i know
wot we up to tonight paulo ?
+++
"fucked if i know"
+++
i got a lame excuse
we're movin th backyard shed in th morning
the fortitude valley can do without th wizard
+++
i will have to
go surfin on my unicycle this arv at some stage though
+++
bjork
'big time sensuality'
+++
yeah ok windows
a coupel pretty girls will most likely
smiel at me
so fuckin what
sitnorm
+++
wow man
cat fight goin on outside
little brother just shot out th front door
it's that other black fuckin cat
from down th road
weird
dont normally have catfights at 2 pm
here in th cul de sac
+++
he's not normally home at this time on friday either
still rainin
+++
i'd droptest you ya cunt
he shoulda caught ya instead of
screamin at ya to fuck off
+++
i should perhaps explain
dear and gentle reader
that i'm on a
beautiful
south seas
sub tropical
island
in th southern hemisphere
australia by name
+++
oh and
if yr alive when ya read this
and i'm dead
go and get fucked
+++
i feel better now
+++
"always talkin to th future hey"
anybody that reads somethin i've written
is in th future
"ok"
+++
led zeppelin
'ramble on'
+++
course
th big question of th day is
which dealers house of mine
do i wanna spend th
friday arv pissup and
buyin drugs party at
it's fuckin hard man
+++
arlo guthrie
'chilling of the evening'
+++
at dusk hey
+++
i'm hopin
that they got that engine runnin in that beast
so i can do some broadslides on th unicycle
down th dirt hill
looks like i;ve chosen
+++
got a thing about takin out
pommie cars
while slidin unicycles
+++
we're waitin on a call
to see if little brothers range rover
is ready to be picked up
+++
i'll get stuck with th land rover though
and with my luck
it'll be peak hour traffic
"and ya can look down all those"
"first day of spring tops"
hmm
+++
gorillaz
'feels good inc'
+++
yeah paulo but
is it as good as em
blowin kisses at me
when i'm singin in th valley of guts
"i thought ya stopped"
its been two months
+++
i can still hear
dickheads
askin me where my other wheel is
i think i can hold off
trekkin into th big city
at night
on my mountain unicycle
a bit longer
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
th public can drive ya nuts
+++
"where's yr other wheel ?"
up th arse of th last fuckwit who asked
"u arent ready to go back to th streets"
hmm
+++
do i look like i fuckin need it
+++
when four out five ppl who ask
where's your other wheel ?
get told to go and get fucked
th wise street entertainer
takes his unicycle
down country lanes for a while
+++
at least th skatebowls
th wall
will be nice and clean for my uni
when th rain stops
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no15'
+++
oh i'd do you - lyric
+++
oh it's fortune faded
+++
drop like an elevator hey
not really windows
th unicycle goes over th edge
well
actually
it kinda does
th edge is so slippery
th unicycle tyre cant grip
goin over th
edge
freefall
air
till th tyre hits th wall
hopefully with th right
angle of attack
a controllable slide at best
and watch otu for th overrun if ya
make yr attack angle too steep
+++
royksopp
'Kings Of Convenience - I Don't Know What I Can Save You From'(REMIX)
+++
go over too steep and
nothing can save you
overclocked flywheel
goin faster than yr legs can
lift off
bye
+++
faceplant territory
+++
falls goin up th wall however
are way more fun
+++
you can do dumb things
shit ya know
aint gunna work
and just step off
+++
last week at th redcliffe bowl i
hit th curve wrong
goin up th wall
and
way too much speed
but got over anyway
hmm
only a litle bit of air
compared to th girls bikes
sorry
not my fault ya ride a safety bicycle
but a little bit of air
that feels so fuckin good
+++
and th fuckwits at th bowl
kept their mouths
fairly well shut
not one asked me for a backflip
sometimes i fuckin hate humanity
+++
not as much as when i'm
surfin on a unicycle
in a foot of white water
in th surf and
+++
the black eyed peas
'sexy'
+++
some fuckwit decides i'm a clown and
runs out and crash tackles me
+++
"or a blonde standin in th best wave and holdin a camera"
"goin can i get a photo with you ?"
yeah ok paulo
+++
was carryin a
non waterproof mp3 player last time
and we are not amused ok
but i didnt kill it
+++
course
my twin brother paulo woulda
had a good go and killin th prick
if it did get splashed
know wot i mean
+++
"as i recall"
"three guys stopped me chasin him down"
"and bashin his head in"
"he ran away"
+++
hmmm
dont knock th wizard over in th surf
just because u can
+++
it's th first day of spring
a man's thoughts turn to
unicycle surfing
+++
"thought u were my female personality"
i still have to deal with blisters on my testicles paulo
"hmm"
+++
city high
'city high anthem'
+++
sorry brisvegas
my twin brother paulo wont
come and put smiles on dials in th big city
for th first day of spring
he dont think
his car breakin down in his driveway
99% of th time
instead of th middle of nowhere
is incentive enough
+++
i think th fuckin price of fuel is just too high and
we're on a pension
+++
my fans love me so much that i
drive a five hundred dollar car
actually that isnt fair
i never did it for money
i do miss singin on
strete corners with
five or so of my muso mates
+++
kylie minogue
'still standing'
+++
prefer to sit
singin on strete corners
usually done twenty or so kilomtres on a unicycle before
i stop with my first busker mate
+++
always amuses me
when i've been away from th street a couple of months and
i get hit up
where th fuck have ya been man ?
ah just
payin car rego and
i live outside th big city
"puttin smiles on dials doesnt pay"
+++
icehouse
'Love in Motion' (with Chrissie Amphlett)
+++
give you my heart and soul - lyric
+++
only for six yrs though
+++
when th news
that th unicycle man of byron bay
had comitted suicide
filtered thru th street and
found me
i had to sit down and ask myself
why
+++
i've been the unicycle man of more places than i can count
some places ya can
drop back in after two yrs away from their street and
some bugger will go oh hi man
do you remember when we...
+++
kuta lady
introduced to me to a nice
sweet young thing last week
she met me in 2001
in th botanic gardens
do i remember you ?
ah fuck
+++
countless thousands
just liek you and
just as pretty
+++
santana
'black magic woman'
+++
i got magic but
even my diary only has
bout one percent of th ppl i met
+++
smokin drugs and
drinkin alcohol
in a park with some
late teenage wild things
then remount th unicycle and
peel thru th flower beds
+++
i'm sorry i dont remember you
but thank you for remembering me
i guess i stuck out
+++
and cause i'd
just come from a skatebowl
i told ya how i figured out how to keep th
little mungrels happy
half drunk and
a huge pile of stacks goin up th wall
no
no stacks goin down
they forgive that
hey i'm a master
it stopped th jaded little buggers
askin for somethin resembling a trick
+++
kylie minogue
'sweet music'
+++
they weren;t puton crashes exactly kylie
i just
overcooked th entry a few times
easier to have a real crash than a fake one
+++
to cum down th wall any steeper
i'd have to go back to fittin brakes
dont liek brakes on a unicycle
generally only effective over twenty k's an hour
and even then
+++
i know i gotta pull th
suspension unicycle prototype outta th shed tomorrow
"big arse bitch"
we found us a fabricator dear
we'll make ya skinnier and
a smaller bum and
out of alloy to start with
steel at th moment
maybe i can get paulo to go learn about carbon fibre
+++
fuck he welds good
+++
souped up
motorized skateboard
with a locker diff
+++
the panel
'opening theme'
+++
mad cunts are us
+++
george
'truth'
+++
its a sad fact of life but
one of th nicest
complimetns in
australian suburbia
is
yr a mad cunt
+++
never have a slidin competition
between a unicycle and a motorized skateboard
<<<smiel >>>
he lost
+++
we judged it on crowd squeels
+++
i was thinkin on
unicycle racin rules
equal with first over th line
first prize is
most spectacular crash
oh and umm
coolest save
+++
like
hittin th post hard and
not catching th out of control flywheel
till seven pedals after th impact
slow mo back to
three rotations of th wheel where th rider
sorry pilot
was only in contact with th wheel
by one foot on one pedal
+++
the black eyed peas
'sexy'
+++
i flogged th last unicycle
who tried to follow me thru th posts
he hasnt
been out in th street six yrs
and cant jump gutters
yet
one day though
i'll peel thru th posts and
he'll go past me
+++
i can jump gutters
i cant jump puddles
always seem to land in th middle of em
th clown in me
+++
tv rock
'flaunt it'
+++
wot i cant jump
is money
fifteen bucks to get to town and back
to go and play
petrol
+++
but its only been two months
since i last
hit th big city and
didnt find a fuckin thing i couldnt ride over
+++
coupel of weeks back
i wandered intot h dustbowl
behind wright park and
found that
unicycles and hidden tree roots in th dust
can be interesting
+++
radiohead
'creep'(acapella)
+++
gotta have internal radar to see
th tree roots
layin under th dust
course
that's all gone now
a clay pan up there now probly
i'll try to pick my time
to go visit again and
hit it while it still has puddles
but not so greasy i cant get between em
+++
th bump outside th
high school
on th big road
got me yesterday
full of water and mud
its internal dimensions have changed
other bikes have been thru it
i came down
nuthin savage but
man that wheel stopped fast
+++
u2
'i still havent found what i'm lookin for'
+++
<<<smile >>>
cant see everythin comin
i see enough
+++
lighter's run out
time to hit th frog and toad
back soon
.
.
.
+++
led zeppelin
'gallows pole'
+++
been to see my dealer
+++
his dog is healin nicely
beggin me for pats
+++
wish yr girlfriend didnt look like
dorothy from th wizard of oz
lizas mum
+++
i take that back
+++
th boys were talkin cars
we got th giggles
+++
and yeah
did we sink much rum and bourbon and
praise
we thank it
+++
different grower this week and
my last stash was from kuta lady
+++
gettin some variety in th dope at last
+++
well it ias girls bike
by definition
worse its got
four wheels
"had training wheels"
bad as a car
and they're girls bikes too
<<< smile >>>
+++
fuck he looks after me
huge stick
+++
"good size drug consignment"
sorry
+++
oasis
'fucking in the bushes'
+++
just talkin about sum
dried flowers
green ones
smoke nice anyway
smooth with a capital oooooo
+++
he'll grow out of it dear
ventually
wont be car mad forever
however
at 44
i'm still droppin into skatebowls
on a mans bike(unicycle)
he'll still be a boy
she smiled
+++
lovely man
th man who gave me th inspiration
to bunnyhop unicycles
a real tripper
+++
M/A/R/R/S
'pump up the volume'
+++
ok
i miss th adelaide street bus stops
they;re goin
and th mindless missiles
ppl
drunk and stoned after midnight
all floatin around in my game
unicycle video game
in real life
resets on every corner
never th same twice
it'll still be there
+++
havent clipped a bus seat in three months
+++
fuck
+++
more drugs over here
thang ya cunt
bring us th hash pipe
+++
th blonde at th shop
knows my shopping habits
+++
bjork
'crying'
+++
its not that
she's underage
+++
thought i wanted 25 cash
as well as my durries
no dear
i wanna sixpack as well
+++
th small shopkeepers
generally know wot th populace are doin
+++
thing is
can th land surfer personality
within me
live with not
celebratin th arrival of
sprung
+++
probly
he's too out of it and pissed to care
+++
celebratin our own way and
not comin out to entertain
you
fuckhead
+++
to that crowd i'm
the unicycle man
as ever
+++
violent femmes
'gone daddy gone'
+++
i dont introduce myself as
the unicycle man
well not normally
+++
look fortitude valley
go and get fucked
surfers paradise
i got laid in th doorway of a nightclub
where's your great tale ?
+++
then shut up
+++
it can be hard to let go
of a venue
+++
last friday night
just after midnight
my phone started ringin
from a denizen of
th old surfers paradise
that i used to sing with there
+++
i dunno dude
u never once
came down th beach
when i was surfin
in th surf
on one wheel
+++
Ludwig van Beethoven
'Symphony No. 9'(Scherzo)
+++
yet u'd introduce me
to all yr lady friends as
the unicycle man
+++
sopranos theme song
'woke up this morning'
+++
up till two weeks ago
yr ex is still ringin me
+++
fuck i gove her wot for
crazy redheaded bitch
i love ya but
+++
i guess
after singin with womble for a coupel hours
so me and th girls could afford to hit th nightclubs
and then we'd dirty dance and then
go collect womble and drag him home
and probly head back into surfers
cause th weak prick karked it at 3 Am and
u and i partied till dawn
+++
i meant what i said dear
i cant give u paulie
+++
he videoed himself and
his last two wives takin it in th arse
not yr scene
+++
its kept her from messaging
+++
the black eyed peas
'hands up'
+++
thought i'd burned u womble
+++
some just wont
drop off th vine
+++
if u wanna join th hive man
u gotta actually listen
+++
i got one phone call
someone askin
can i stick kuta down as my religion
hmm
+++
well no-one's paid any dues but
i cant stop u practisin yr religion
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
just um
remember that th head toecutter has
quarter million confirmed kadaitcha man kills ok
+++
although it is nice
someone rang me to ask
+++
never marry a volcano
+++
the stranglers
'gold and brown'
+++
the difficult listening hour
i've turned th music up
singing is
+++
didnt sing oen fuckin bit that is actually in th song
all background
ahhhhhhhhhh
total freedom
+++
scott brown
'now is the time'
+++
it took yrs
singin in th street
to find freedom
now i can sing anywhere
+++
"pretty much"
+++
six yrs as an unpaid street entertainer
can i ever truly give it up ?
+++
it was all of yesterday
i was jumpin traffic islands
and watchin a pretty girl smile at my antics
+++
i've seen so many ppl unhinge i
can never see enough of it
+++
they just
havent seen unicycles slide in th flesh
hit posts
and continue and
+++
oasis
'wonderwall'
+++
hands up who's seen a unicycle drop into a bowl
+++
if i hit th bowl
first sunny day after th rain
i can push th edge of
how steep an angle i can take down th wall
+++
yummie
+++
havin to bunny hop
over th top
on th down
run
is
well its
fuckin nice ok
+++
cause pretty well
100% of th ppl there
seein it in th flesh
have never seen it
+++
i try to keep th numbers down
most ppl are fuckheads
+++
only friend or lation i;ve shown is
my nephew
+++
he's buyin another new girls bike
+++
ride yr unicycle chump
+++
kylie minogue
'i feel for you'
+++
shutup mini gooey
+++
so young man
do th chicks get squidgey when ya pull up on yr girls bike ?
+++
fuckhead
+++
i pull up at a busker mate
i'm gunna sing with
with
a broadslide that leaves
a black trail
on a man;s bike
+++
even with two coffees in my hand
womble would ask for a crash
he liked to include th unicycle in th act
rare
would crash and
not spill anything and
duly deliver th guitarist a coffee and prop
and start singing
an audience member would usually grab th unicycle
i only caught it in my legs
35 % of th time
it was early days
+++
so why ya callin man ?
+++
the stranglers
'gold and brown'
+++
so
i told ya i was 009
i got a job to do
+++
i got a letter from th gummint today
my number started with
007
i went yeah ok
+++
ah man
just
+++
for wot its worth wommie
u got more chance of draggin paulo's carcass
away to sing
he's gone off th valley of guts
+++
says it's for kiddies
+++
i do have to wonder though
does anyone else sing
at full volume
to th dickless tracys
lady coppers
downstairs
mannin all th cameras cause
we're all really bent up here and
we're havin a good time
ya better cum fuck it up for us
+++
budgie
'guts'
+++
but i dont expect there will bee
+++
ah well
+++
replace me ya cunts
+++
slalom unicycle racing
thru th cars pullin up at th light
th wrong way
down a four lane one way
road
after midnight
past th taxi rank
and ultra relaxed
hey
i've never broken a bone on it
+++
give me a ticket for ridin a fuckin girls bike
+++
i'll insult you across th fuckin globe
+++
i dont ride a girls bike council inspector cunt
+++
big pig
'i cant breakway'
+++
we'll see
surfers paradise only gets about one visit a year now
i used to play in th low tide surf there
every week
+++
smokin drugs thru a carrot
whiel th girls dirty dance in front of me
in th street
in the fortitude valley
doesnt equal
gettin laid
in th doorway of a nightclub
in surfers paradise
while th bouncers just stood and watched
i'm sorry
+++
i'm thinkin about my diary man
+++
i been readin back and
yeah man
um
the buskers jam at dawn
in th fortitude valley was hot
but it died
we all went separate ways and it died
+++
the buskers jam at dawn on a sunday was
th golden time
+++
pj harvey
'the dancer'
+++
th lesbians
dont walk their girlfriends on dogcollars anymore
and th trannies parade
once in a blue moon
stead of every friday night
th place has changed
th money came in
+++
used to be
th valley was notorious for
u could get in anywhere
dressed as anything
the city invaded the red light district
and won
+++
not one fuckin riot when
the man closed th club doors at 3 Am
stead of five Am
not fuckin one
+++
this country's fucked
+++
back in my time
we woulda thrown full stubbies at the police beat
+++
thousands strong
+++
fuck off ya cunts
+++
i shake my head and recall
how much of a good time i had
at th bathurst bike riots in 85
+++
U2
'pride'(in the name of love)
+++
even got on telly
doin donuts on a sidecar
"warmin up th crowd"
paints us all in
dust man
identify me now fucker
+++
thousands of leather clad bikers
all lookin
pretty much th same
specially after midnight
+++
teach you cunts for buildin a bigger police
prescence on th mountain
+++
killed th easter bike races
+++
one day
they make us wear a helmet
if ya stand up to pee
+++
girls world
+++
khia
'lick my pussy'
+++
on ya windows
+++
jewel
'love me just leave me alone'
+++
fuck off bitch i'm goin to th pub
you want me to call th maid ?
+++
well she'
s got faster fingers than i have and
i've run out of batteries
+++
will ya hurry up and get off bitch
i wanna go nightclubbin
the lesbian blues
+++
"as sung by a trannie"
lesbian tranny
+++
th straight girls seem to liek it though
when i sing it in th street
+++
actually
even th odd
lesbian couple
i seem to recall
a couple of young lovely ladies
and me
all tryin to teach emselves
how to unciycle and
we had a real good time
+++
"more than once"
that pair stood out
+++
was singin with kombi dude
it blew him away
+++
the flying lizards
'i want money'(the best things in life are free)
+++
i wasnt doin it for money
aaand he defended me more than most
noticed i was invisible
+++
well at least to those two boys hey man
+++
fucked bein psychic around white boys
+++
alright if they dont classify emselves as
white boys
u dig it ?
+++
dont answer that
i dont read comment
+++
the verve
'come on'
+++
just a storage medium for me
+++
and someone might read it
you know
twisting heads
it's just my psychic blog
+++
if they keep
all of newsnet
from whoa to go
it's a kind of
immortality
albeit a strange one
+++
that first time ya write somethin
knowin
this thing is
immortal
+++
i cant go back and change it and
any mistake i amke is
there for all time
+++
i remeber
th first post i made to th internet
and how much
i was scared of it
+++
just th
offchance of knowing
someone may read my words
+++
course
i experimented and
watched th odd thousand or so
individuals follow my writing to a
www website
+++
enough to make a few
ummm
observations
+++
ya cant count in newsnet
how many ppl read wot you wrote
and most of em th readers are
lurkers
+++
i love it
+++
pissed an ex wife cause
i could share with humanity
wot i couldnt share with her
am i better for it ?
+++
th mouthy ones comment
for someone in th future to laugh at
+++
if i lived to read your comments
would i be living for myself or for
you
+++
make yr comments after i'm fuckin dead
you arent my parents and
i dint listen to them either
did you ?
+++
the ferrets
'dont fall in love'
+++
told ya both to get fucked and
five minutes later
dad shot ya in th head
+++
it's just life
+++
"and death"
+++
one day
i wont be able to slide a unicycle
but that's not today
today i am
alive
+++
john mayer
'bigger than my body'
+++
i guess
+++
when th five hundredth person
called me a legend
to my face
in th street
in australia
where we avoid such displays
+++
a local icon
just like
rock n roll george
by th way
i prefer
rock n roll paulo
to
the unicycle man
+++
it's more
th wizard these days
i been around so long
+++
sixpack abs
midfourties
partyin till dawn
+++
you know
+++
i had to be married twice first
for five yrs both times
+++
punishment enough for any man
+++
i dont take em home now
keep my room bad enough i dont wanna
but they blow kisses at me
+++
icehpouse
'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)
+++
th thing is
ya gotta explore new territory
wommie wants to go to sydney
+++
yeah wommie
i'm playin hard to get bitch but
you keep ringin and
you cant replace my voice
+++
ya dont sing with
a hundred different buskers without
learnin a few tricks
+++
after four years i could
sing a completely different song
in th background and
in harmony
+++
twisting ppl's head's with th lyrics
my twin brother always
always
is th wildest thing there
+++
maybe it's th
savages testicles
they ache
every day
+++
when i had a pirate net connection
and was pirating songs
and
writin about it
while i did it and
nuthin
was fuckin sweet
+++
david byrne
'like humans do'(radio edit)
+++
havin two girlfriends and
an online blog they could both read was
kinda interesting
+++
can i tell that hot car tale yet black ?
he says still not enough water gone under th bridge
ah well
+++
all th evidence is gone
+++
some of my life i'm
ten yrs behind in th
writin in my diary
+++
but it's all i leave behind
+++
i'm past five million smiles
on ppl's dials
+++
mr oizo
'flat beat'
+++
oh yeah i used to know - first lyric
+++
th thing about bein an entertainer
ya drop into a
small town and
th place cant do enough for ya
but a big place
yr just one of many
+++
i'd do th tyalgum pub again with ya womble
+++
he'll talk to ya again
+++
i dunno about sydney
i'd rather go to melbourne
+++
and only in th warmer months ok
+++
born in th sub tropics
+++
send me a message sayin yr workin on that song and
i'll reply
+++
neil young
'the needle and the damage done'
+++
wal wrote a song
womble coloured it
i sang it
we still havent jammed on it
+++
but me and wommie did
like five different versions
i know wal's drummin
he'd just
lay it down
+++
it's not th nightlife i miss
it's th muso's and
th music we made
+++
live
+++
ted mulry gang
'jump in my car'
+++
not tonight
i know that
havin drunk six bourbons already
aint excuse enough for th eunicycle man
+++
havin a bludge
+++
but umm
been ridin heaps and
th spider veins are back out
i'm a whole two kilo's underweight
i'm eatin more
+++
th surf is hard work
+++
have to build up to it
+++
it's only about four months since
i hit surfers paradise main beach
underspotlights
on my big unicycle
in th surf
th nephew
was arguin with me last weekend about it
+++
B2K
'bump bump bump'(remix 4)
+++
ok dude
u gave me this song
+++
didnt bring a bicycle this weekend
two and half men weekends
+++
last weekend
u rode my 26 unicycle
right round th cul de sac
+++
me and yr brother both
said how far u'd come
+++
i'll put u on
my 24 with th big tyre
this weekend and
see if that takes yr fancy
not fast enough for me anymore
+++
just a spare in th back of th car
+++
ya came back with
tales of th mad
24 inch unicycle they had
and th girls bikes ya looked at
do th girls drip for yr girls bike ?
+++
simon and garfunkel
'cecilia'
+++
she wont shake yr confidence if
you pull up on one wheel
specially in th surf
+++
th first time
three chicks bail ya up
to get a photo with ya
is pretty special i guess
just jaded
+++
ya dont have to be famous
ya just have to be good
+++
i still
take calls from th edge of th island
+++
it's addictive
goin out and bein amazing
+++
beck
'beautiful way'
+++
?
'track 12 with oonka chaka'
+++
fuckem
i'll go out and be amazing
when i fucking well pls
+++
it'll blow you away - lyric
+++
every friday night
it hits me liek a hammer
+++
why arent i goin out
ridin my unicycle till dawn
+++
th council's givin me th shits
th pigs are givin me th shits
th ppl are givin me th shits
"ok"
+++
everywhere i go
i see boring ppl
and th cunts are smiling at me
+++
it's a worry
+++
tenacious d
'cock pushups'
+++
gorillaz
'dare'
+++
have i run enough red lights after midnight ?
is my midlife crisis over or
does it go forever ?
will i ever grow up ?
+++
well
at least i dont have to ask a girlfriend
or a wife
if i can slip to my dealers for a coupel of bourbons
and buy a stick of dried green flowers
so i cant complain
+++
no cunt listens anyway right
+++
if yr alive when ya read this
and i'm dead
go and get fucked ok
hope ya have a pleasurable time
i did
.
.
.
i ejaculate
therefore i am
.
.
.
the land surfer
+++
p.s.
the verve
'neon wilderness'
+++
here kittie kittie kittie
+++
he dropped th big black bastard
digger by name
from th landing
it landed in th couch
hopped down to th floor
and climbed up th stairs to go once more
strange cat
+++
only two cats were harmed in th making
of this psychic underground blog
+++
i had to piss on one
he did say to put it out
i thought it was on fire
"a natural mistake to make"
+++
cmon
we've all drop tested cats
held em upside down and
let em fall to th floor
lets see ya land
right way up and
on yr feet this time
black mungrel
++
ready mr music
+++
coldplay
'yellow'
+++
if ya cant hear it
it's cause this is text dickhead
+++
ah notepad
+++
so after i pulled my dick out of
kylie minogue
just testing
wonderful thing text
+++
"i ran to th pub and told nobody"
+++
and wot did nobody say ?
"he said dont tell anybody"
+++
good thing it's ficticious then
+++
"long as ya dont say she's delicious"
+++
ok paulie
i know she's a blonde
+++
"i'm not sayin blondes taste bad jen just"
"they're so fuckin common"
"ya meet more crook ones"
+++
phil collins
'in the air tonight'
+++
yeah ok windows
it is friday but
we aint goin out to entertain tonight
+++
least as far as i know
wot we up to tonight paulo ?
+++
"fucked if i know"
+++
i got a lame excuse
we're movin th backyard shed in th morning
the fortitude valley can do without th wizard
+++
i will have to
go surfin on my unicycle this arv at some stage though
+++
bjork
'big time sensuality'
+++
yeah ok windows
a coupel pretty girls will most likely
smiel at me
so fuckin what
sitnorm
+++
wow man
cat fight goin on outside
little brother just shot out th front door
it's that other black fuckin cat
from down th road
weird
dont normally have catfights at 2 pm
here in th cul de sac
+++
he's not normally home at this time on friday either
still rainin
+++
i'd droptest you ya cunt
he shoulda caught ya instead of
screamin at ya to fuck off
+++
i should perhaps explain
dear and gentle reader
that i'm on a
beautiful
south seas
sub tropical
island
in th southern hemisphere
australia by name
+++
oh and
if yr alive when ya read this
and i'm dead
go and get fucked
+++
i feel better now
+++
"always talkin to th future hey"
anybody that reads somethin i've written
is in th future
"ok"
+++
led zeppelin
'ramble on'
+++
course
th big question of th day is
which dealers house of mine
do i wanna spend th
friday arv pissup and
buyin drugs party at
it's fuckin hard man
+++
arlo guthrie
'chilling of the evening'
+++
at dusk hey
+++
i'm hopin
that they got that engine runnin in that beast
so i can do some broadslides on th unicycle
down th dirt hill
looks like i;ve chosen
+++
got a thing about takin out
pommie cars
while slidin unicycles
+++
we're waitin on a call
to see if little brothers range rover
is ready to be picked up
+++
i'll get stuck with th land rover though
and with my luck
it'll be peak hour traffic
"and ya can look down all those"
"first day of spring tops"
hmm
+++
gorillaz
'feels good inc'
+++
yeah paulo but
is it as good as em
blowin kisses at me
when i'm singin in th valley of guts
"i thought ya stopped"
its been two months
+++
i can still hear
dickheads
askin me where my other wheel is
i think i can hold off
trekkin into th big city
at night
on my mountain unicycle
a bit longer
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
th public can drive ya nuts
+++
"where's yr other wheel ?"
up th arse of th last fuckwit who asked
"u arent ready to go back to th streets"
hmm
+++
do i look like i fuckin need it
+++
when four out five ppl who ask
where's your other wheel ?
get told to go and get fucked
th wise street entertainer
takes his unicycle
down country lanes for a while
+++
at least th skatebowls
th wall
will be nice and clean for my uni
when th rain stops
+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'track no15'
+++
oh i'd do you - lyric
+++
oh it's fortune faded
+++
drop like an elevator hey
not really windows
th unicycle goes over th edge
well
actually
it kinda does
th edge is so slippery
th unicycle tyre cant grip
goin over th
edge
freefall
air
till th tyre hits th wall
hopefully with th right
angle of attack
a controllable slide at best
and watch otu for th overrun if ya
make yr attack angle too steep
+++
royksopp
'Kings Of Convenience - I Don't Know What I Can Save You From'(REMIX)
+++
go over too steep and
nothing can save you
overclocked flywheel
goin faster than yr legs can
lift off
bye
+++
faceplant territory
+++
falls goin up th wall however
are way more fun
+++
you can do dumb things
shit ya know
aint gunna work
and just step off
+++
last week at th redcliffe bowl i
hit th curve wrong
goin up th wall
and
way too much speed
but got over anyway
hmm
only a litle bit of air
compared to th girls bikes
sorry
not my fault ya ride a safety bicycle
but a little bit of air
that feels so fuckin good
+++
and th fuckwits at th bowl
kept their mouths
fairly well shut
not one asked me for a backflip
sometimes i fuckin hate humanity
+++
not as much as when i'm
surfin on a unicycle
in a foot of white water
in th surf and
+++
the black eyed peas
'sexy'
+++
some fuckwit decides i'm a clown and
runs out and crash tackles me
+++
"or a blonde standin in th best wave and holdin a camera"
"goin can i get a photo with you ?"
yeah ok paulo
+++
was carryin a
non waterproof mp3 player last time
and we are not amused ok
but i didnt kill it
+++
course
my twin brother paulo woulda
had a good go and killin th prick
if it did get splashed
know wot i mean
+++
"as i recall"
"three guys stopped me chasin him down"
"and bashin his head in"
"he ran away"
+++
hmmm
dont knock th wizard over in th surf
just because u can
+++
it's th first day of spring
a man's thoughts turn to
unicycle surfing
+++
"thought u were my female personality"
i still have to deal with blisters on my testicles paulo
"hmm"
+++
city high
'city high anthem'
+++
sorry brisvegas
my twin brother paulo wont
come and put smiles on dials in th big city
for th first day of spring
he dont think
his car breakin down in his driveway
99% of th time
instead of th middle of nowhere
is incentive enough
+++
i think th fuckin price of fuel is just too high and
we're on a pension
+++
my fans love me so much that i
drive a five hundred dollar car
actually that isnt fair
i never did it for money
i do miss singin on
strete corners with
five or so of my muso mates
+++
kylie minogue
'still standing'
+++
prefer to sit
singin on strete corners
usually done twenty or so kilomtres on a unicycle before
i stop with my first busker mate
+++
always amuses me
when i've been away from th street a couple of months and
i get hit up
where th fuck have ya been man ?
ah just
payin car rego and
i live outside th big city
"puttin smiles on dials doesnt pay"
+++
icehouse
'Love in Motion' (with Chrissie Amphlett)
+++
give you my heart and soul - lyric
+++
only for six yrs though
+++
when th news
that th unicycle man of byron bay
had comitted suicide
filtered thru th street and
found me
i had to sit down and ask myself
why
+++
i've been the unicycle man of more places than i can count
some places ya can
drop back in after two yrs away from their street and
some bugger will go oh hi man
do you remember when we...
+++
kuta lady
introduced to me to a nice
sweet young thing last week
she met me in 2001
in th botanic gardens
do i remember you ?
ah fuck
+++
countless thousands
just liek you and
just as pretty
+++
santana
'black magic woman'
+++
i got magic but
even my diary only has
bout one percent of th ppl i met
+++
smokin drugs and
drinkin alcohol
in a park with some
late teenage wild things
then remount th unicycle and
peel thru th flower beds
+++
i'm sorry i dont remember you
but thank you for remembering me
i guess i stuck out
+++
and cause i'd
just come from a skatebowl
i told ya how i figured out how to keep th
little mungrels happy
half drunk and
a huge pile of stacks goin up th wall
no
no stacks goin down
they forgive that
hey i'm a master
it stopped th jaded little buggers
askin for somethin resembling a trick
+++
kylie minogue
'sweet music'
+++
they weren;t puton crashes exactly kylie
i just
overcooked th entry a few times
easier to have a real crash than a fake one
+++
to cum down th wall any steeper
i'd have to go back to fittin brakes
dont liek brakes on a unicycle
generally only effective over twenty k's an hour
and even then
+++
i know i gotta pull th
suspension unicycle prototype outta th shed tomorrow
"big arse bitch"
we found us a fabricator dear
we'll make ya skinnier and
a smaller bum and
out of alloy to start with
steel at th moment
maybe i can get paulo to go learn about carbon fibre
+++
fuck he welds good
+++
souped up
motorized skateboard
with a locker diff
+++
the panel
'opening theme'
+++
mad cunts are us
+++
george
'truth'
+++
its a sad fact of life but
one of th nicest
complimetns in
australian suburbia
is
yr a mad cunt
+++
never have a slidin competition
between a unicycle and a motorized skateboard
<<<smiel >>>
he lost
+++
we judged it on crowd squeels
+++
i was thinkin on
unicycle racin rules
equal with first over th line
first prize is
most spectacular crash
oh and umm
coolest save
+++
like
hittin th post hard and
not catching th out of control flywheel
till seven pedals after th impact
slow mo back to
three rotations of th wheel where th rider
sorry pilot
was only in contact with th wheel
by one foot on one pedal
+++
the black eyed peas
'sexy'
+++
i flogged th last unicycle
who tried to follow me thru th posts
he hasnt
been out in th street six yrs
and cant jump gutters
yet
one day though
i'll peel thru th posts and
he'll go past me
+++
i can jump gutters
i cant jump puddles
always seem to land in th middle of em
th clown in me
+++
tv rock
'flaunt it'
+++
wot i cant jump
is money
fifteen bucks to get to town and back
to go and play
petrol
+++
but its only been two months
since i last
hit th big city and
didnt find a fuckin thing i couldnt ride over
+++
coupel of weeks back
i wandered intot h dustbowl
behind wright park and
found that
unicycles and hidden tree roots in th dust
can be interesting
+++
radiohead
'creep'(acapella)
+++
gotta have internal radar to see
th tree roots
layin under th dust
course
that's all gone now
a clay pan up there now probly
i'll try to pick my time
to go visit again and
hit it while it still has puddles
but not so greasy i cant get between em
+++
th bump outside th
high school
on th big road
got me yesterday
full of water and mud
its internal dimensions have changed
other bikes have been thru it
i came down
nuthin savage but
man that wheel stopped fast
+++
u2
'i still havent found what i'm lookin for'
+++
<<<smile >>>
cant see everythin comin
i see enough
+++
lighter's run out
time to hit th frog and toad
back soon
.
.
.
+++
led zeppelin
'gallows pole'
+++
been to see my dealer
+++
his dog is healin nicely
beggin me for pats
+++
wish yr girlfriend didnt look like
dorothy from th wizard of oz
lizas mum
+++
i take that back
+++
th boys were talkin cars
we got th giggles
+++
and yeah
did we sink much rum and bourbon and
praise
we thank it
+++
different grower this week and
my last stash was from kuta lady
+++
gettin some variety in th dope at last
+++
well it ias girls bike
by definition
worse its got
four wheels
"had training wheels"
bad as a car
and they're girls bikes too
<<< smile >>>
+++
fuck he looks after me
huge stick
+++
"good size drug consignment"
sorry
+++
oasis
'fucking in the bushes'
+++
just talkin about sum
dried flowers
green ones
smoke nice anyway
smooth with a capital oooooo
+++
he'll grow out of it dear
ventually
wont be car mad forever
however
at 44
i'm still droppin into skatebowls
on a mans bike(unicycle)
he'll still be a boy
she smiled
+++
lovely man
th man who gave me th inspiration
to bunnyhop unicycles
a real tripper
+++
M/A/R/R/S
'pump up the volume'
+++
ok
i miss th adelaide street bus stops
they;re goin
and th mindless missiles
ppl
drunk and stoned after midnight
all floatin around in my game
unicycle video game
in real life
resets on every corner
never th same twice
it'll still be there
+++
havent clipped a bus seat in three months
+++
fuck
+++
more drugs over here
thang ya cunt
bring us th hash pipe
+++
th blonde at th shop
knows my shopping habits
+++
bjork
'crying'
+++
its not that
she's underage
+++
thought i wanted 25 cash
as well as my durries
no dear
i wanna sixpack as well
+++
th small shopkeepers
generally know wot th populace are doin
+++
thing is
can th land surfer personality
within me
live with not
celebratin th arrival of
sprung
+++
probly
he's too out of it and pissed to care
+++
celebratin our own way and
not comin out to entertain
you
fuckhead
+++
to that crowd i'm
the unicycle man
as ever
+++
violent femmes
'gone daddy gone'
+++
i dont introduce myself as
the unicycle man
well not normally
+++
look fortitude valley
go and get fucked
surfers paradise
i got laid in th doorway of a nightclub
where's your great tale ?
+++
then shut up
+++
it can be hard to let go
of a venue
+++
last friday night
just after midnight
my phone started ringin
from a denizen of
th old surfers paradise
that i used to sing with there
+++
i dunno dude
u never once
came down th beach
when i was surfin
in th surf
on one wheel
+++
Ludwig van Beethoven
'Symphony No. 9'(Scherzo)
+++
yet u'd introduce me
to all yr lady friends as
the unicycle man
+++
sopranos theme song
'woke up this morning'
+++
up till two weeks ago
yr ex is still ringin me
+++
fuck i gove her wot for
crazy redheaded bitch
i love ya but
+++
i guess
after singin with womble for a coupel hours
so me and th girls could afford to hit th nightclubs
and then we'd dirty dance and then
go collect womble and drag him home
and probly head back into surfers
cause th weak prick karked it at 3 Am and
u and i partied till dawn
+++
i meant what i said dear
i cant give u paulie
+++
he videoed himself and
his last two wives takin it in th arse
not yr scene
+++
its kept her from messaging
+++
the black eyed peas
'hands up'
+++
thought i'd burned u womble
+++
some just wont
drop off th vine
+++
if u wanna join th hive man
u gotta actually listen
+++
i got one phone call
someone askin
can i stick kuta down as my religion
hmm
+++
well no-one's paid any dues but
i cant stop u practisin yr religion
+++
black eyed peas
'my humps'
+++
just um
remember that th head toecutter has
quarter million confirmed kadaitcha man kills ok
+++
although it is nice
someone rang me to ask
+++
never marry a volcano
+++
the stranglers
'gold and brown'
+++
the difficult listening hour
i've turned th music up
singing is
+++
didnt sing oen fuckin bit that is actually in th song
all background
ahhhhhhhhhh
total freedom
+++
scott brown
'now is the time'
+++
it took yrs
singin in th street
to find freedom
now i can sing anywhere
+++
"pretty much"
+++
six yrs as an unpaid street entertainer
can i ever truly give it up ?
+++
it was all of yesterday
i was jumpin traffic islands
and watchin a pretty girl smile at my antics
+++
i've seen so many ppl unhinge i
can never see enough of it
+++
they just
havent seen unicycles slide in th flesh
hit posts
and continue and
+++
oasis
'wonderwall'
+++
hands up who's seen a unicycle drop into a bowl
+++
if i hit th bowl
first sunny day after th rain
i can push th edge of
how steep an angle i can take down th wall
+++
yummie
+++
havin to bunny hop
over th top
on th down
run
is
well its
fuckin nice ok
+++
cause pretty well
100% of th ppl there
seein it in th flesh
have never seen it
+++
i try to keep th numbers down
most ppl are fuckheads
+++
only friend or lation i;ve shown is
my nephew
+++
he's buyin another new girls bike
+++
ride yr unicycle chump
+++
kylie minogue
'i feel for you'
+++
shutup mini gooey
+++
so young man
do th chicks get squidgey when ya pull up on yr girls bike ?
+++
fuckhead
+++
i pull up at a busker mate
i'm gunna sing with
with
a broadslide that leaves
a black trail
on a man;s bike
+++
even with two coffees in my hand
womble would ask for a crash
he liked to include th unicycle in th act
rare
would crash and
not spill anything and
duly deliver th guitarist a coffee and prop
and start singing
an audience member would usually grab th unicycle
i only caught it in my legs
35 % of th time
it was early days
+++
so why ya callin man ?
+++
the stranglers
'gold and brown'
+++
so
i told ya i was 009
i got a job to do
+++
i got a letter from th gummint today
my number started with
007
i went yeah ok
+++
ah man
just
+++
for wot its worth wommie
u got more chance of draggin paulo's carcass
away to sing
he's gone off th valley of guts
+++
says it's for kiddies
+++
i do have to wonder though
does anyone else sing
at full volume
to th dickless tracys
lady coppers
downstairs
mannin all th cameras cause
we're all really bent up here and
we're havin a good time
ya better cum fuck it up for us
+++
budgie
'guts'
+++
but i dont expect there will bee
+++
ah well
+++
replace me ya cunts
+++
slalom unicycle racing
thru th cars pullin up at th light
th wrong way
down a four lane one way
road
after midnight
past th taxi rank
and ultra relaxed
hey
i've never broken a bone on it
+++
give me a ticket for ridin a fuckin girls bike
+++
i'll insult you across th fuckin globe
+++
i dont ride a girls bike council inspector cunt
+++
big pig
'i cant breakway'
+++
we'll see
surfers paradise only gets about one visit a year now
i used to play in th low tide surf there
every week
+++
smokin drugs thru a carrot
whiel th girls dirty dance in front of me
in th street
in the fortitude valley
doesnt equal
gettin laid
in th doorway of a nightclub
in surfers paradise
while th bouncers just stood and watched
i'm sorry
+++
i'm thinkin about my diary man
+++
i been readin back and
yeah man
um
the buskers jam at dawn
in th fortitude valley was hot
but it died
we all went separate ways and it died
+++
the buskers jam at dawn on a sunday was
th golden time
+++
pj harvey
'the dancer'
+++
th lesbians
dont walk their girlfriends on dogcollars anymore
and th trannies parade
once in a blue moon
stead of every friday night
th place has changed
th money came in
+++
used to be
th valley was notorious for
u could get in anywhere
dressed as anything
the city invaded the red light district
and won
+++
not one fuckin riot when
the man closed th club doors at 3 Am
stead of five Am
not fuckin one
+++
this country's fucked
+++
back in my time
we woulda thrown full stubbies at the police beat
+++
thousands strong
+++
fuck off ya cunts
+++
i shake my head and recall
how much of a good time i had
at th bathurst bike riots in 85
+++
U2
'pride'(in the name of love)
+++
even got on telly
doin donuts on a sidecar
"warmin up th crowd"
paints us all in
dust man
identify me now fucker
+++
thousands of leather clad bikers
all lookin
pretty much th same
specially after midnight
+++
teach you cunts for buildin a bigger police
prescence on th mountain
+++
killed th easter bike races
+++
one day
they make us wear a helmet
if ya stand up to pee
+++
girls world
+++
khia
'lick my pussy'
+++
on ya windows
+++
jewel
'love me just leave me alone'
+++
fuck off bitch i'm goin to th pub
you want me to call th maid ?
+++
well she'
s got faster fingers than i have and
i've run out of batteries
+++
will ya hurry up and get off bitch
i wanna go nightclubbin
the lesbian blues
+++
"as sung by a trannie"
lesbian tranny
+++
th straight girls seem to liek it though
when i sing it in th street
+++
actually
even th odd
lesbian couple
i seem to recall
a couple of young lovely ladies
and me
all tryin to teach emselves
how to unciycle and
we had a real good time
+++
"more than once"
that pair stood out
+++
was singin with kombi dude
it blew him away
+++
the flying lizards
'i want money'(the best things in life are free)
+++
i wasnt doin it for money
aaand he defended me more than most
noticed i was invisible
+++
well at least to those two boys hey man
+++
fucked bein psychic around white boys
+++
alright if they dont classify emselves as
white boys
u dig it ?
+++
dont answer that
i dont read comment
+++
the verve
'come on'
+++
just a storage medium for me
+++
and someone might read it
you know
twisting heads
it's just my psychic blog
+++
if they keep
all of newsnet
from whoa to go
it's a kind of
immortality
albeit a strange one
+++
that first time ya write somethin
knowin
this thing is
immortal
+++
i cant go back and change it and
any mistake i amke is
there for all time
+++
i remeber
th first post i made to th internet
and how much
i was scared of it
+++
just th
offchance of knowing
someone may read my words
+++
course
i experimented and
watched th odd thousand or so
individuals follow my writing to a
www website
+++
enough to make a few
ummm
observations
+++
ya cant count in newsnet
how many ppl read wot you wrote
and most of em th readers are
lurkers
+++
i love it
+++
pissed an ex wife cause
i could share with humanity
wot i couldnt share with her
am i better for it ?
+++
th mouthy ones comment
for someone in th future to laugh at
+++
if i lived to read your comments
would i be living for myself or for
you
+++
make yr comments after i'm fuckin dead
you arent my parents and
i dint listen to them either
did you ?
+++
the ferrets
'dont fall in love'
+++
told ya both to get fucked and
five minutes later
dad shot ya in th head
+++
it's just life
+++
"and death"
+++
one day
i wont be able to slide a unicycle
but that's not today
today i am
alive
+++
john mayer
'bigger than my body'
+++
i guess
+++
when th five hundredth person
called me a legend
to my face
in th street
in australia
where we avoid such displays
+++
a local icon
just like
rock n roll george
by th way
i prefer
rock n roll paulo
to
the unicycle man
+++
it's more
th wizard these days
i been around so long
+++
sixpack abs
midfourties
partyin till dawn
+++
you know
+++
i had to be married twice first
for five yrs both times
+++
punishment enough for any man
+++
i dont take em home now
keep my room bad enough i dont wanna
but they blow kisses at me
+++
icehpouse
'love in motion'(with chrissie amphlett)
+++
th thing is
ya gotta explore new territory
wommie wants to go to sydney
+++
yeah wommie
i'm playin hard to get bitch but
you keep ringin and
you cant replace my voice
+++
ya dont sing with
a hundred different buskers without
learnin a few tricks
+++
after four years i could
sing a completely different song
in th background and
in harmony
+++
twisting ppl's head's with th lyrics
my twin brother always
always
is th wildest thing there
+++
maybe it's th
savages testicles
they ache
every day
+++
when i had a pirate net connection
and was pirating songs
and
writin about it
while i did it and
nuthin
was fuckin sweet
+++
david byrne
'like humans do'(radio edit)
+++
havin two girlfriends and
an online blog they could both read was
kinda interesting
+++
can i tell that hot car tale yet black ?
he says still not enough water gone under th bridge
ah well
+++
all th evidence is gone
+++
some of my life i'm
ten yrs behind in th
writin in my diary
+++
but it's all i leave behind
+++
i'm past five million smiles
on ppl's dials
+++
mr oizo
'flat beat'
+++
oh yeah i used to know - first lyric
+++
th thing about bein an entertainer
ya drop into a
small town and
th place cant do enough for ya
but a big place
yr just one of many
+++
i'd do th tyalgum pub again with ya womble
+++
he'll talk to ya again
+++
i dunno about sydney
i'd rather go to melbourne
+++
and only in th warmer months ok
+++
born in th sub tropics
+++
send me a message sayin yr workin on that song and
i'll reply
+++
neil young
'the needle and the damage done'
+++
wal wrote a song
womble coloured it
i sang it
we still havent jammed on it
+++
but me and wommie did
like five different versions
i know wal's drummin
he'd just
lay it down
+++
it's not th nightlife i miss
it's th muso's and
th music we made
+++
live
+++
ted mulry gang
'jump in my car'
+++
not tonight
i know that
havin drunk six bourbons already
aint excuse enough for th eunicycle man
+++
havin a bludge
+++
but umm
been ridin heaps and
th spider veins are back out
i'm a whole two kilo's underweight
i'm eatin more
+++
th surf is hard work
+++
have to build up to it
+++
it's only about four months since
i hit surfers paradise main beach
underspotlights
on my big unicycle
in th surf
th nephew
was arguin with me last weekend about it
+++
B2K
'bump bump bump'(remix 4)
+++
ok dude
u gave me this song
+++
didnt bring a bicycle this weekend
two and half men weekends
+++
last weekend
u rode my 26 unicycle
right round th cul de sac
+++
me and yr brother both
said how far u'd come
+++
i'll put u on
my 24 with th big tyre
this weekend and
see if that takes yr fancy
not fast enough for me anymore
+++
just a spare in th back of th car
+++
ya came back with
tales of th mad
24 inch unicycle they had
and th girls bikes ya looked at
do th girls drip for yr girls bike ?
+++
simon and garfunkel
'cecilia'
+++
she wont shake yr confidence if
you pull up on one wheel
specially in th surf
+++
th first time
three chicks bail ya up
to get a photo with ya
is pretty special i guess
just jaded
+++
ya dont have to be famous
ya just have to be good
+++
i still
take calls from th edge of th island
+++
it's addictive
goin out and bein amazing
+++
beck
'beautiful way'
+++
?
'track 12 with oonka chaka'
+++
fuckem
i'll go out and be amazing
when i fucking well pls
+++
it'll blow you away - lyric
+++
every friday night
it hits me liek a hammer
+++
why arent i goin out
ridin my unicycle till dawn
+++
th council's givin me th shits
th pigs are givin me th shits
th ppl are givin me th shits
"ok"
+++
everywhere i go
i see boring ppl
and th cunts are smiling at me
+++
it's a worry
+++
tenacious d
'cock pushups'
+++
gorillaz
'dare'
+++
have i run enough red lights after midnight ?
is my midlife crisis over or
does it go forever ?
will i ever grow up ?
+++
well
at least i dont have to ask a girlfriend
or a wife
if i can slip to my dealers for a coupel of bourbons
and buy a stick of dried green flowers
so i cant complain
+++
no cunt listens anyway right
+++
if yr alive when ya read this
and i'm dead
go and get fucked ok
hope ya have a pleasurable time
i did
.
.
.
i ejaculate
therefore i am
.
.
.
the land surfer
+++
p.s.
the verve
'neon wilderness'