Post by "Jonathan" <@.>
To all of you with broadband, I say a firm "pssh, well, yeah, whatever."
Dialup is hardcore.
Hard-CORE, I say!
Most definitely. Since I got broadband, I feel elevated, exalted,
godlike, even. The urge rises within me to use my telekinetic powers to
effortlessly journey for light years and consume the life force of
entire distant galaxies, provoking my fellow X-Men to follow and destroy
me at all costs, while my herald Norrin Radd, the SILVER SURFER, tries
to bird-dog Ben Grimm's blind girlfriend but fails because he can't
figure out how to release his weiner from his shiny metal shell. Serves
him right for being unfaithful to the memory of his betrothed, SHALLOW
Meanwhile, Tony Stark (IRON MAN) suffers in silence as his beloved,
Pepper Potts, is wooed by Hap Hogan, Stark's cauliflower-eared chauffer.
Such is the pain of a man of metal, his heart pierced by the Cong, his
love destroyed by the responsiblilities of being... IRON MAN.
Nick Fury is beyond such concerns, his continuity having been destroyed
by a whim of Howard Chaykin's. Are the HOWLING COMMANDOs still relevant
in a time when war is an obvious economic tool, when the ideals that
created CAPTAIN AMERICA, illusory though they were, have been shattered
by the antics of the current dynasty whose name we must not speak? Is
XEMO a terrorist? Would the glue that forever attached the mask to his
face also render him akin to Osama? Where is the seventh Sleeper? WHO
is Dormammu? Is Steven Strange beholden to Bill Frist, so that when
battling otherdimensional evils, he is not beset by frivolous
malpractice lawsuits, even though he drove a spike into a baby's head to
cure its whooping cough? What's so goddam great about babies anyway?
Don't get me started about Kree warrior Captain Marvel... THERE IS AN
ENTIRE COLONY OF MISTER MIND-STYLE WORMS HANGING IN A WRIGGLING BALL
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW RIGHT THIS INSTANT... C. C. Beck... Gene Colan... It's
all so incompatible...
Frank Giacoia was a pretty cool inker, though.